


Ramifications

by poppetawoppet



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-08
Updated: 2009-11-08
Packaged: 2017-10-27 01:26:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/290088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poppetawoppet/pseuds/poppetawoppet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam drunk dials Kris after breaking up with Drake. Things happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ramifications

Kris sighed as he laid his bag on the floor, glad to be back in LA. It was one of those days when he questioned why he had ever auditioned for American Idol, just put himself through all of this hassle. To top it off, his Twitter feed was now full of @replies asking him if the rumors about Adam were true. Kris had no idea. He had tried to call Adam on Halloween, but had reached his voice mail. It was typical of their conversations of late: monologues recorded at strange hours to be repeated whenever one of them had time.

Time. That was a funny thing. It seemed to Kris that he was constantly stuck between stretches of doing nothing at all and running until he slept for thirteen hours straight. He almost wished he was back on tour, because at least then he had nine other people to share the experience with. He missed those days more than he thought he would, his friends becoming his family, brothers and sisters.

He walked into the kitchen, automatically pressing play on the answering machine. He was sure Katy had written down anything important, but sometimes the messages were his only connection to his friends: their time zones so different all he had was their voices floating up from his kitchen counter.  
 _  
Heyyyy Kris,_ Adam's voice slurred. _You won't answer you cell man, and you won't answer here. Why not? Want to talk._

Beep. Kris shook his head. Adam sounded slightly drunk.  
 _  
Krissss. Do you remember Detroit? Those were good times. I miss that. Don't you? I was happy then. Why aren't I happy Kris?_

Beep. Kris sat on a stool, transfixed. He guessed the rumors were true. He felt bad, because he wanted to be there for Adam, but it was almost one in the morning: Adam was probably in bed by now.  
 _  
Kris. Remember when I said my crush was harmless?_ There was a silence that crept into Kris's heart, a pause that would define the rest of his life. _I lied. I did. Oh shit. Probably shouldn't have said that. Hi Katy! Ignore me I think I'm drunk!_

Beep. Kris laid a hand on the counter, his mind racing.  
 _  
Hey Katy, don't worry. I'm totally crushing on your husband, but it doesn't mean anything. I never tried to kiss him. Not once. Right Kris?_

Beep. Kris bit his lip, thinking of Manchester, holding Adam's jacket out to him, almost leaning forward, wondering exactly what it _would_ be like, kissing Adam. But the moment had passed.  
 _  
Hey Kris, guess you've figured out by now I broke up with Drake. It's all cool. We're cool. I went to a party on Hallopeeeen._ There was a fit of giggling. _Didn't see any pics of you. Wanted to see you dressed up. You'd make a great angel. That would be hot. Shit! Sorry Katy. I should stop Katy calling._ Giggles. _Calling, Katy._

Beep. Kris rubbed his face, noticing for the first time Katy standing in the doorway. He looked at her, seeing something in her eyes he didn't quite recognize.  
 _  
Okay, guess you aren't home yet. I'm not drunk yet either, so that's okay. I'm probably going to go out, so don't try reaching me. Katy, don't be mad, I'm just talking._

Beep.  
 _  
All right, I lied. See the thing is,_ a pause _,_ with only Adam's breathing _the thing is is that I didn't love him the way I loved you. And it wasn't fair to him. To me. To you. But it's okay, I'll be alllll right. I'm gonna go out and it's going to be siiiiiiccccckkkk._

Beep. It was quiet, and Kris stared at the answering machine for a long time, as if to will one more message out of it. He turned, found Katy standing beside him now, a sad smile on her face.

"Hey," he said, kissing her lightly.

"Hey." She sat down, holding left hand in both of her own. She looked down. "I've been thinking."

"You've been thinking?" Kris repeated, his mind still thick.

"Yeah," She gave him a half smile and a shrug. "See, the thing is I discovered something about myself while you were on tour. While you've been doing all this stuff for the album."

Kris swallowed, his stomach turning slowly. "Discovered what, exactly?"

"We don't need each other."

"I'm sorry?"

Katy laughed, brushing her hair back. " I discovered I was quite self-sufficient. That there were days that I was perfectly happy not to hear from you."

"I don't understand."

"Of course you don't. That's what I love about you. You'd never break a promise, ever."

She stood, pulling him up. "I don't need you. But he does."

Kris's eyes twitched to the answering machine. "Katy," he croaked, feeling tears that mirrored hers.

"I love you, you know that? And you love me. But that isn't always enough."

She leaned forward, kissing his cheek, slipping the ring off of his left finger. Kris didn't know what to feel in that moment, everything he had ever known was turning a blind corner, and he was so afraid of what was coming. Katy leaned up and whispered in his ear.

"We'll figure this out later. But he needs you, before he does something stupid. Okay?"

"No. It's not okay. I'm married to you, Kate. I love you, not him-I-"

She laughed, stopping him. "Don't tell me you don't love him. I've seen pictures, and you do. But you're both too damn stubborn and honorable to do anything about it. Now go already. That last message was from ten minutes ago. Knowing Adam, he's still getting ready, so you can catch him before he ends up on TMZ."

"Katy…"

"Just go."

By now he found himself at his own front door, his keys in hand, his wife pushing him out the door.

"Katy—"

"Kristopher Neil Allen, I love you, but if you don't go, you will regret it the rest of your life. Just like you regret never kissing him." Katy smiled as Kris gaped at her. "Just because he didn't try and kiss you doesn't mean you didn't try and kiss him. I'm very observant. Now go."

Kris stood outside his door, his mind still struggling to catch up with what was happening, his feet moving themselves, half of himself wanting to turn around, open the door and hold his wife close until morning came.

Except she was right.

Sitting in his car for a moment, he came to the realization that he did need Adam in a way he didn't need her. He leaned his head against his steering wheel for a moment, breathing heavily, knowing now whatever he did, his life had changed more profoundly than it had on May 21st. He sat up, his face still wet with tears, his heart resolute.

"Love you Kate," he whispered to no one, hoping he wasn't too late.

*

It took Kris almost an hour to get there. Luckily Adam's security recognized him, waved him through. He idly wondered if one of them would call a tabloid, realized he didn't care. He knocked on the front door several times, then found that it was unlocked. He went in, making sure he locked it behind himself.

"Adam?" he called out.

He heard a crash, and ran up a large set of stairs, almost laughing as he found Adam sprawled across the floor half out of his closet, carrying various bits of leather and glitter, more piled next to his bed.

"Kris!" Adam smiled loopily, but his voice was steady. "What are you doing here?"

Kris sighed. He had never seen Adam tipsy. "You left some very interesting messages on my machine."

"I did, didn't I?" Adam laughed, rubbing his head. He tilted his head. "What did I say exactly?"

Kris knelt down, bringing himself eye level to Adam. "You told me in order, that you A) still had a crush on me, B) I would have looked hot as an angel, and C) that you loved me. Basically."

"Oh."

Adam's face was serious. Kris could tell he had stopped drinking awhile ago: enough to sober up in order to go out and get more drunk, to forget whatever he was going through.

"I have a question for you Adam, and this is very important."

"Okay." Adam looked directly at him, and Kris clenched his hands, wanting to slap him and kiss him both.

"If your break up was so cool, why are you drunk?"

"I'm not drunk. I stopped about an hour ago so I could go out and get there." Adam paused as Kris stared at him. "Okay, so I'm still tipsy. But I'm speaking in full sentences, which means I am not drunk."

"Adam."

"I don't know, okay?" Adam leaned back, his hands rubbing at his temple. "Okay. So I told you that I loved you?"

"Yes. In a way that you didn't love him."

Adam winced. "Shouldn't have said that."

"Why? It was true wasn't it?"

"Because Katy probably heard it. She didn't need to hear it."

Kris sighed. "But she did. And she's the one who told me to come here, so maybe that's a good thing."

"She sent you here? Why?"

Kris could see hope in Adam's eyes, grinned slightly. He cupped Adam's head in his left hand, aware of the weight that should have been there.

"Because she knew you needed me. But that doesn't answer my question. Why get drunk if you didn't love him as much as you did me?"

Adam looked down, taking Kris's hand, holding it in his own. "Because I did love him," he whispered. "But it wasn't enough. I realized it would never be enough, that he didn't fit me the way you did."

Kris sighed. Adam was right. They fit each other perfectly.

"All right, then. Let's get you up then."

"Why can't I stay here?"

"Because you smell like vodka and look like crap," Kris said, standing. "You are going to have to get up yourself, cause there is no way I'm lifting you."

"Okay."

Kris made sure Adam was steady enough to stand on his own, and walked over into the master bathroom, recognizing the clutter from their time together on Idol. He turned on the shower, running the water just past lukewarm. He walked back out, finding Adam still leaning against the wall, his face distinctly greener. Kris sighed, and walked over to him.

"You throw up on me and I'm walking."

"I won't."

They walked slowly to the bathroom, Kris supporting Adam as best he could, afraid that he was going to end up on the floor, crushed beneath Adam. It appealed to him in ways he tried not to think about.

They made it into the bathroom, neither of them speaking.

"All right," Kris said, "Let's get you undressed."

Adam grinned. "Okay."

"Don't get any ideas. We are totally not there yet."

"Yet?"

Kris swore under his breath. "Just do it okay? I think you should be stable enough to at least get yourself under the spray. We'll tackle soap tomorrow, when you can move more than a few inches."

Kris turned as Adam began to peel off his jacket, finding some comfortable clothes for Adam to change into. He walked into the bathroom, smiling as he heard Adam humming something. He laid the clothes on the counter. His hands twitched a little, daring himself to pull the curtain aside. He stood arguing with himself when he heard the scrape of rungs and found himself standing under the spray. He tried to ignore the figure in front of him, tried not to stare at the expanse of freckles, the decidedly male form. But it was also a mistake to look in Adam's eyes.

They bore into Kris's with an intensity he did not recognize.

"Are we there yet?" Adam whispered.

Kris shook his head. "No."

"You aren't wearing your wedding ring."

Kris blinked, pushing back his hair as water sprayed over him. He was fully clothed, in the shower with Adam, who was _naked_ and now he had noticed that?

"No. I'm not."

"Katy sent you here."

Kris nodded. He couldn't speak, lost in the heat of Adam's gaze.

"Remind me to send her flowers. Jewelry. Something."

Kris nodded again, gasping softly as Adam nipped his bottom lip, then slowly sucked on it, his eyes never wavering. Kris tasted vodka on Adam's tongue, still too afraid to touch, instead reaching for some sort of hold on the slippery wall, arching as Adam moved his mouth down.

"Can't be clothed in the shower," Adam murmured, his hands deftly undoing the buttons of Kris's shirt, peeling it back.

Kris stuttered a response, his words lost in the drumming of the water and the whimper in his throat. Adam's hands wandered from the top of Kris's chest, stroking as they circled to the back and forward again, Adam biting gently down Kris's jaw line. Kris jerked as Adam reached for the button of his jeans, and did the impossible.

"Wait."

"Why?" Adam moaned softly, his breath warm against Kris's shoulder, his hands paused against the front of Kris's jeans.

"Because I'll always think you did it because you were drunk and you'll think I did it out of pity. Because while shower sex sounds amazing, I'm actually kind of frightened about the implications of all of this." Kris swallowed. "Because I want you so much right now I'm a little scared. Okay?"

Adam continued to lean, nodding slowly. "Okay. Will you stay?"

Kris nodded, watching as Adam turned off the water, feeling a twinge of regret as Adam dried off and dressed. He finished peeling off his own shirt, blushing slightly as Adam watched him change into sweats and a t-shirt too big for him.

"So you're saying you want to have sex with me?" Adam asked, lying across his bed.

Kris swallowed. "Yes. But we aren't there yet."

"Yet."

"Exactly."

"Come here already."

Kris walked over to the bed, finding himself enfolded in Adam's arms, enclosed in warmth and love. He remembered that night on tour, after the protesters, when he had held Adam this way. He unconsciously rubbed at his left hand, drifting off to the rhythm of Adam's breathing.

*  
The next morning Adam asked, "Are we there yet?"

He asked it every morning, his eyes playful, his mouth serious.

*  
 _Six months later._

Katy turned on the TV, catching the tail end of Entertainment Tonight. She had been reading for her latest role, but she had heard a rumor... 

"And in other news, best friends and _American Idol_ alumni Adam Lambert and Kris Allen were seen together again, this time in LA at a restaurant. The two still give no comment about the status of their relationship, but with Allen's divorce official as of yesterday, he is looking very happy."

The camera focused on the two faces, a familiar glow surrounding them. Katy remembered those smiles from the tour, but caught something. It was in the way Adam casually leaned into Kris, or the way Kris possessively looked at Adam.  
 _  
They've totally had sex_ she thought, fingering the two rings hanging from a chain around her neck. _It's about damn time._ _Stubborn men._

Beep.  
 _  
Hey Katy, just checking in to say hey. Yes I got your message today, got the official word about the big D. Look, I'm—Adam stop it I'm trying to call my ex-wife here! Anyway just wanted to make sure—yes I know I said we were there—Adam! I still love you Ka—I gotta go._

Beep  
 _  
Sorry about that message yesterday. I was distracting your ex-husband. Just wanted to say thank you for sending him my way, love. I only hope I can return the favor, except most of my friends are gay too. Unless you decide you like girls. Then I can totally hook you up. That was not inappropriate Kris! I was just trying—_

Beep.


End file.
